Hello, Everybody!

I’m here to serve as an independent advertiser for one of the most anticipated sequels of all time (at least in my worthless opinion), CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE.

Chev Chelios, played by the ever-incredible and ass kicking King of the Modern B-Cinema Jason Statham, is a hitman who just ran out of juice…all the way from a 500 foot drop out of a helicopter into the LA pavement. With one final blink in the last frame of the film, many viewers were left wondering if Chelios survived…

Chev Chelios vs. Godzilla? Dream Sequence

Well thanks to avante-guard action directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (who also serve as the writers), somehow a man dropped from a chopper can survive and be more than enough man to kick ass in the sequel! Released earlier this week is the first full trailer, featuring a wonderfully extreme use of the F-Bomb, stripper nudity, and lots and lots of electrocutions.
The following trailer is NSFW, so put in the headphones and wait for your boss to make it to his office while you sit in your lame little cubicle wishing you could be as cool as JASON FUCKING STATHAM.

This is simply one of the best trailers I’ve ever seen, its totally RED BAN and well, DAMN.

Can’t wait for this baby to come out! When I came out of the theaters of the first film I felt like I had just done 10 lines of Cocaine mixed into a Redbull. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

…Yeah my life’s pretty lame, but CRANK 2 looks awesome! It premiers on April 19th 2009.