STRIKE A POSE!!! Films

Ok, I know what you guys out there in blog land are thinking: A Christopher Lambert movie that ISN’T Highlander isn’t really worth anything. Well my friends, you’d be absolutely WRONG! Here’s my ghettolicious review of MEAN GUNS (1996) by Albert Pyun!

Mean Guns, a B-Action movie directed by Albert Pyun, is a non-stop crazy train of violence and comedy. It contains both utter malice and over-the-top machismo charisma thanks to a collection of leads and supports that play each of their simple parts to the most amusing letters possible.

So where to begin? How bout that plot! It’s all in the tagline, baby! 100 Assassins, 1,000 Guns, 10,000,000 Dollars! Ice T himself spells it out to his top-tier gamers: The World’s Best Assassins From the World’s Most Powerful Syndicate. They arrive at a state-of-the-art prison (which looks more like an uptown high school to me, but hey, that lighting makes it shine!) under no pretense whatsoever except to heed the call of their elite syndicate. The game? Fight to the death, cause all you motha-fuckas betrayed at some point–big or small it’s ALL THE SAME. Think the motivation of the badguy from Oldboy on a corporate level, and just as messy and impersonal and BOOM you’ve got the motivation of…well people you never see. But that’s beside the point because they get their personification through Ice T’s “platinum” grill yo!

The follow through is simple: Three players can win the game, claim a split of the money, and leave with their lives (I won’t spoil the twist where the syndicate is going to backstab them in the end and kill them all anyways…oops). This is all supported by the amazing cast of crazy people that Pyun and his writer Andrew Witham have created: Lou the psycho played by Lambert, a three sweet ass bitches (one kicks ass, one complains a lot, guess which one is hotter?), two hilarious birds known as Crow and Hoss, and Marcus the cold-blooded badass as played by an immensely under appreciated Michael Halsey. After the released of a case of guns and a box of baseball bats upon the crowd, CHAOS ENSUES. The main characters go through the prison forming bonds, backstabbing each other, and murderin otha gangstaz who get in der wayz. Deez G’s all play it fo Real yo, bringin out da beats to make dis gangsta ass film some heavy shit.

What I mean to say is that Lambert’s crafting of the character Lou is quite different from his typical shy-but-cunning Mcleoud persona of the Highlander series (or pretty much every other movie he’s ever done since). He brings such a joyous bloodlust to the role that it becomes hilarious contagious, bridging the gap of cheese-that-could be to enjoyable B-movie killtacularocity. There’s some range provided for his character as well, with comedic lines, bad ass looks, and even some real dramatic pauses in the end. I liked Lou. He was a cool character, with action moves such as running across table tops, wielding two handguns and smiling while being shot at, it was like watching some bastardized American version of Devil May Cry– and you all out there know my love for DMC.

Bringing a balance to Lambert’s over-the-top madman is Marcus, played effortlessly, flawlessly, and damn near wordlessly by Michael Halsey. Now Mike hasn’t been in a lot of things people would remember, and I’m not sure if this is the one he’d want to be remembered for, but if I had to be known for a performance I’d pick this one: The man freaking channels Charles Bronson’s natural bravado and quiet masculine power from Once Upon a Time in the West as if he had just played Ouija with a Death Wish box set. He’s the kind of killer who is quiet, composed, and never misses a shot simply because he “timed it right” rather than has super-draw abilities (more on that by the end of the film) and impresses more with his piercing gaze than any crazed-kill one liner could ever accomplish. He’s really the main highlight to this show and its sad to say he didn’t get nearly as much credit for holding this movie together as DA T or Chris Lambert.

So what do you get when you throw a Ghetto Gangsta, a Foreign Nutjob, and a Trans-Historical Gunman character into a death match? You get 100% pure awesome. The fights are brutal without being bloody, complimented with great sound effects that really pound the senses without the use of bloodpacks. The action is messy without being incongruous allowing the editing to keep it sharp and painful, and the comedy is stylishly timed keeping the film from feeling far too serious. Nods to greater works are peppered throughout, including but not limited to John Woo flicks like Hard Boiled and Sergio Leone films like The Good The Bad and the Ugly; the latter of which has a familiar melody possibly mimicked into the score of Pyun’s movie. Its a real collage of hand-to-hand, bat-to-face, gun-fu combat all kicked into overddrive.

If you find this movie, please buy it! It is a real treasure of B cinema and is a perfect template for amateur action makers to follow. And it sure as hell had a better story than Paul Anderson’s recent action disaster Death Race. It probably cost one quarter of the budget as well! You wanna make action movies, then get MEAN GUNS and learn sometin you FOO!

This is STRIKE A POSE!!! Films first Guest Review by our good friend Thomas England, also known in the forums as Tom. Tom loves watching classic, indie, and cult films, and today we’ve got a big treat for our readers- an introduction to one film maker’s amazing selection of work.

Here’s his review for Ingmar Bergman’s PERSONA:

Lately I have been renting and watching a lot of classics, in sort of a “quest” to find more inspiration for my own creative ingenuity, as well as for substance to contribute to a college film club I help manage. I have been trying to watch genres ranging from old cult classics to French new wave flicks as well as various indie titles. Many of these have been downers for me- I either found them to be somewhat boring or pretentious; trash that only succeeded in making me angry. I don’t like watching movies that blatantly try and go out of their way to prove how better they are than you. I am mainly talking about Jean Luc Godard’s French New Wave films, which if you haven’t heard of him, then good- leave it that way, and stay clear from anything by him.

Biased and arrogant opinions about French film making aside, the “classics” that I saw were interesting but didn’t do anything for me at the time, many of which seemed like movies I would have to re-watch later on. There were a couple exceptions. One I have run into is Swedish filmmaker Ingmar Bergman. Just last week I finished watching his 1966 psychological thriller Persona, and I must say I definitely found what I was looking for with this movie. It was beautifully shot and the story was well told.

The movie was about a nurse named Alma (Bibi Anderson), who was put in charge of helping to rehabilitate a well known actress named Elisabeth (Liv Ullman) who, although seeming physically fine, will not talk to anyone. I was left constantly guessing why she is acting this way. The opening sequence is a montage of serial imagery, where the clues for answering this question begin. What was shown in the opening sequence were things ranging from a film projector to a child trapped in an all white room with a large human face watching him from behind one of the transparent walls.

One of the more powerful scenes was when the Elisabeth was watching the news in her hospital room, and sees the broadcast of the forever infamous Saigon monk burning himself alive in Vietnam. Most important was the reaction and facial responses expressed by the actress to that sort of stimuli. This sort of thing helps to give clues about what is actually going on, but by the end it will be made clear to you that you’re just as clueless as the nurse trying to help the young actress, and understand why the film is called what it is. It is important to pay close attention to the imagery throughout the movie, because the story is primarily told through its imagery, with dialog coming in second (though it’s still important). For those who are fans of David Lynch you would be well accustomed to it- a very dark and dreary experience that at times has a very surreal feel to it.

In the end this was just the inspiration I needed! I have seen two other films by Ingmar Bergman: The Seventh Seal and The Wild Strawberries, both of which were great and completely different experiences. I recommend anyone reading this to pick this one up if they can find it- it’s not very long, but if you watch this and find it to be your type of movie as I did, then definitely pick up the other Bergman movies I just listed. Even so, out of all of the three Bergman Movies that I have seen so far, this one takes the gold.

Tom’s an active member of the Future Film Makers Club, leading the way for the newer members as Vice President, and you might even remember his amazing performance in the comedic masterpiece, Man of Action.

This isn’t really going to be a review, simply a reflection.

Tonight I watched a movie that I had been cautiously avoiding for the last few months. The story of Chris McCandles has been far from mind for three years since I read it in my senior year of high school. Sitting in a factory line desk, taking notes from a materialistic, sports-enthused history teacher, and trying hard to ignore the hypocrisy and mindlessness of recent American history, this book was the only thing I came close to enjoying in that class. Alex Supertramp, as Mccandles wanted to be known during his journey, was a half-genius, half crazy privileged white American male who gave up his hard earned savings, college degree, and chances for a rational future in 1990 to go live on the land of modern America.

For this, he learned much, met many, influenced a handful, and died alone in the very wilderness he so loved.

I sit here, typing on a computer- my main occupation consisting primarily of machines, electronics, and permits- knowing full well my life could have easily become that. I had tried to leave home many times in my high school years. Sometimes driving, sometimes walking, sometimes running. I never made it much further than a few miles. I once walked maybe four or five down the local tracks until I came across the Shady Grove Metro station.

I called my mom to pick me up, if I remember correctly. It was always just to blow off steam.

What Alex had that I don’t, however, was a real vision of getting lost. Getting away and coming to a state of nothingness. Mono-no-aware. Complete letting go and embracing the surrounding.

It is only then, after all, that we can truly start over.

I write all this, thought provoked by a spinning disc in a DVD player in the utmost disdain. I almost let this movie pass me by. I should not have been afraid. Though it does make me wish I could take such a journey or live such a life for some time, it did not drive me mad with the hatred for a society I am very much a part of. It did not turn me against my current lifestyle.

I recommend this movie fully without any caution to anyone and everyone. If you don’t like the story, hell, at least you can see a plethora of On Location shooting of parts of America you’ll probably never visit (or at least completely appreciate). The acting can sometimes feel preachy, but over all it is potent and alive. Knowing that these actors like Vince Vaughn and Hal Halbrook are playing REAL LIFE people who REALLY met and knew this kid with words taken from the amazing book by Jack Krakeur brings so much more emotion to the viewing. The beauty of the cinematography, the graceful montage editing, and the overpowering quotes of such great writers as Tolstoy, London, and Thoreau used in the narration really cements this movie as a work of art and truth.

Not my favorite movie. It most likely won’t break my top 25, though it certainly is one I will purchase, remember, and look back to when I feel like I’ve been stuck in my house for a day too long.

The FUTURE FILM MAKERS club went and saw this movie about a week ago. In Be Kind Rewind, Jack Black and Mos Def star as two New Jersey nobodies attempting to save their VHS-only video store through the action of remaking old films. Their only resources are their nostalgic memories of the films themselves and whatever random items they can find in their slum community. Its a great premise, highly inspiring in this age of do-it-yourself digital film making and distribution, and got us future film makers all really excited to see what Michael Gondry could come up with.

Unfortunately the film itself is somewhat forgettable. That’s a sad thing to admit considering its one of the more creative movies to come out of America in the last couple years, but the fact of the matter is that the pacing, the narrative, and the fun factor of a movie such as this was just way too…I dunno, WONKY to really recommend. Now I like strange things and I love outrageous cinema, but this one just really didn’t do it for me or my friends in terms of “laugh factor.” The conversations the characters have come off as disconnected, as if all the characters have rabid cases of ADD. While it isn’t unusual for a bunch of zero-budget film makers to behave in such a way, it doesn’t work for a narrative as deeply themed and potentially rich as this. The humor is also smart, but sometimes pretentiously so, that the only jokes the whole audience will tend to laugh at at once involve Jack Black’s physical comedy (i.e watching him be beaten and violated by the environment around him).

As the plot thickens and the community pulls together to help the aging and dying video store (And associated format, VHS), the story begins to congeal into something far more palatable and upbeat. One cameo by Sigourney Weaver takes a tad of a depressing turn, however, and the predictability of the film becomes apparent.

The ending is really marvelous though, and if you truly appreciate the art form of cinema then you probably should watch this film. This is one of the best displays of how film making has become the prominent art form of this generation and why it brings people together as it does. If the entire last third of the picture was used as a thesis for Film’s Power in Sociology, it’d probably get an A+. Somehow, sadly, I don’t think most viewers will get it. Hopefully you will.

If you are a mainstream viewer then a rental will be good for you. Its really hard for me to say whether or not I liked this movie, as I am sure my readers can tell by the indecisivenesses of this review, but heck, that’s why we’re allowed to have our own opinions, isn’t it? One thing is for certain- the movie was full of great performances and a couple of really truly memorable moments.

However, I think what this movie will be most remembered for is it’s impact on the internet film community. Filmmaking Frenzy did a contest based off of the “sweding” of films (Custom-to-order-film-renting-on-less-than-zero-budget) that takes place in the movie. Here’s one of the favorites I’ve seen on the internet, TERMINATOR 2:

Watching this film earlier tonight, in fact I just got back from it, I decided that it is now necessary to come up with a term (for myself, in any case, I don’t know if there’s another one for it) for movies such as this.

I AM LEGEND is about the best example you will ever get of a “Two-Thirder,”and by this I mean a film that is essentially that- two thirds are brilliantly done, and then the ruin it all in the final third of the picture. For this movie, it’s easy to divide up- it was a 101 minute film, and somewhere around the last 35 minutes everything decided to take a back-seat to “good film making.”

I AM LEGEND is the story of Will Smith saving existence once again (sorry, my family is ironically enough watching Independence Day upstairs), from some form of world-apocalypse. This time however, he isn’t Will Smith, he’s Robert Neville, a military scientist who believes he knows the cure for infection. Why he’s the one with the key to this, what his background in science is, and why he is in particular immune to this virus are all unknown to the viewer, thus diminishing greatly the chance for this film to be good science fiction. I’m not saying they have to explain every little thing. That would be treating the audience like idiots. Oh…wait. It appears that they decided to do that with the first five minutes of the film in the worst way imaginable- a News Report talk show extravaganza that takes place outside of the continuity of the actual events of the film.

Effortlessly explaining that the cure for cancer was on the rise, the film does make a smart decision to cut to “Three Years Later” and show off Will Smith as The Last Man On Earth. The whole movie is about contrasting images, with the city of New York overrun with grass and wild animals. One of the more amusing scenes is when Neville drives his SUV down the street and music is heard coming from it. Not a speaker system, mind you, just from the car. It has no over powered bass, it is just on at a low volume and can be heard for a great distance in the once noisy City that Never Sleeps.

If you’ve read any other review, you already know that yes, the first forty-five minutes are incredibly interesting, with a “day in the life” story of the omega, going through his amusing paces and doing his best to stay sane talking to mannequins and the like. If you’ve seen Tom Hank’s isolationist portrayal in Cast Away you’ve already seen the best display of man-on-inanimate-object action, but there are moments when this film tops even the great scenes of Wilson the Volleyball and his Oscar Worthy performance. Smith does in fact own the screen the entire picture, even towards the end when it falls apart. So does the dog he works with. The beautiful pooch deserves muchos applause, and her chemistry with Smith was gold. In fact, it’s pretty easy to see where the film falls apart.

When the dog becomes a less prominent character and two humans are introduced, completely out of nowhere, and ruin the story. There are some embarrassingly bad scenes following the addition of the non-infected, and the action slows, grows, and then completely dies in a ball of stupid and meaninglessness. The story is yet again plagued by the idiotic notion that a science fiction story needs to, at some point, compete with God. This humble reviewer is not an atheist, mind you, I am just of the opinion that bringing God into a movie over the course of two lines of dialog is incredibly moot. Furthering this bad mistake was the idea that “everything happens for a reason,” which worked great for the movie Signs because that entire film was an allegory for a man’s loss of faith. This movie was telling a different story and they decided to leave it at the end for something far more dumb and done.

The action was consistently good, with a handicam author that finally knew how to keep things in focus enough that it was more of a tool than a distraction. The scares were exciting, and while they were still resorting to cat scares, they were much more primal and ferocious than the silly things horror movies in general try to pull. You did not see the scares coming. That makes it effective. The direction of Francis Lawrence was generally powerful, sometimes heart breaking, and the editing between the scenes of “flashbacks” and modern time, getting inside Neville’s head, were very potently placed. Any time when the monsters were attacking created a feeling of dread and excitement, and the direction of the creatures was well maintained throughout the scenes of action. Their movements were animalistic, but with a primal edge of stalking prey that allowed the audience to feel fear right along side of Smith. The special effects were even far more decent than a lot of reviews will admit, and worked for the film, not nearly as against it as some trailers will make it seem.

Over all though, not enough of the action was between Neville and the Mutants. Too much of it focused on his day-to-day life. It painted a great character portrait that had no real development by the end, and anything that could be considered growth felt too written in to really count. Tacking on something that easy just makes the film out to be exactly what I’ve coined it: A Two Thirder.