STRIKE A POSE!!! Films

Does “WAR” achieve victory? Hardly. Just like Hitler didn’t learn from Napoleon, Jet Li didn’t learn from Cradle 2 the Grave and other past Americano mistakes.

The music video director has to be the guy to blame. Or maybe its the screen writer? Or could it be Lee himself? This movie felt like a hollow drum- something constantly to be banged on to produce the same noise over and over again until it becomes irritating. Can you still make music with such a device? Sure! But it really won’t have a lot of notes, and it won’t get any prettier. There were maybe 3 good fight scenes in the whole thing, only one of which involved Statham and only one involved Li. The rest were just sorta…meh. I mean I can’t even write a particularly intelligent review of this film.

This was a movie I had been looking forward to for over a year now, since it was announced that Jet Li would be FIGHTING Jason Statham. Now this movie was announced right around the time Jet Li was going into “retirement.”

Did his change in pace work out? Not really. See, he wasn’t retiring- he was merely changing his agenda- no more classical, long drawn out choreography? Ok, I can deal with that- after all Danny The Dog (also known as UNLEASHED in the states) was a great drama with some action sprinkles to keep it thrilling. His acting in Hero was the main emphasis of his role, with you never knowing which side he was playing.

That role particularly could be compared to this film, with Li’s new character Rogue being phoned in as a harsh Asian ripoff of the Man With No Name played by Eastwood (which, circularly, is a ripoff of a Japanese character, Yojimbo, played by Mifune). The setting for a such a character is well imagined- Yakuza vs. Triads in the dingy, dirty evil town of…San Fransisco…? Wow. Aside from the Golden Gate Bridge in two scenes this movie could have taken place in any town- with most of the locations even being referred to as generically as “Yakuza Turf” and “Triad Turf” and at the worst “Chang’s Warehouse 16.” I mean how freaking lazy can you get? Have you guys ever BEEN to San Fransisco? The one time the environment works to its advantage is one of the only passable action scenes in the film- a car chase down SF streets. However the chase actually starts strong and ends poorly. You see Statham chasing Li around trolley cars, across the huge gaping drops, and through tunnels, only for his car to slightly…dip over a guard rail or something and him to walk away barely even injured. This can essentially be seen as a metaphor for the whole film- great premise, poor execution, and a very weak and empty conclusion. And for future reference- Jason Statham does NOT LOSE CAR CHASES. Who the hell said “Hey Jason, you’re gonna let JET LI of all people out drive you.” And this is where the biggest problem with the movie really occurs- it was not made for the fans.

Now is it wrong to wish that? In most cases I’d say hell yes. But when you have such a simple meal ticket in the works with both Jet Li and Jason Statham being box-office gold in their last two separate movies (Li’s Fearless and Statham’s Crank both got in the top 5 opening weekend), the ambition in this movie seems to aim more towards Gangster Noir than action film- with cheesy character stories and overly cliche motivations pushing the story along. These are the types of movies designed to make big bucks, have big bangs, and get big cheers. I laughed a couple of times at both moments intentional and unintentional, but by the time the third act arrived and I still hadn’t seen Statham beating Jet Li to death or Li whipping Statham’s ass I knew there was something wrong.

By the end of this movie you’ll realize a few things you already knew:
1. Statham can act. Really well actually, and given a better script he could probably get A List in no time.
2. Jet Li can act- when the conventions of the film aren’t going against him and his accent issues. It’s forgivable in something like Unleashed because his character hardly ever speaks the first 20 some years of his life. In this movie its just plain irritating that he can’t speak English without any inflections. Perhaps the director is to blame, because I KNOW he was trying a lot harder in Kiss of the Dragon to pull off the English Accent and Anti Hero roles.
3. Neither of those things will matter when the script is inept enough to label a location with an exposition lettering “CHANG’S WAREHOUSE 16″

This movie was just made for dumb people. And I feel dumb for being cheated out of what would have been the coolest grudge match of the year. Maybe one of the best of all time. They better try a sequel or something and do it right. Get Luc Besson to back it and Yo Wuen Ping to choreograph and maybe we’ll have some REAL action.

WAR Totally does not strike a pose- both actors need to stay the hell away from Music Vid directors…you think Li would have learned that by now after Cradle 2 The Grave.

**/***** (2/5)

Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg teamed up again to bring us another amusing Brit-Com, one that this time skewers the American Cop, Horror Thriller, and Action movies. It even makes Timothy Dalton the mustache twirling bad guy.

Well, when I was up in Boston I went to see the film with my lovely girlfriend, and well, she was half asleep from exhaustion though she still got the movie 100%, we laughed our heads off.

Even though it was British and the dialogue was a tad…unfamiliar.

Nicholas Angel (Pegg) is a good cop- no wait, he’s the best cop London has to offer. In fact he’s so good, he makes everyone else look bad by a 300% margin. So what do you do when you’ve got the best person on your team? You chuck him out in the middle of no where so everyone else can be equal again…kinda reminds me of Maryland public schooling. He ends up in some backwoods uber-peaceful town, with nothing to do and no crime to prevent. All the cops are inept and eat cake for punishment, and the world as Nicholas knows it is gone. He gets no respect and is treated like a washed up has been, even though he’s clearly more talented than everyone around him.

What’s worse is bizarre accidents start occurring around the town, and only his partner, once again played by Nick Frost, believes him. Too bad he’s a bumbling idiot who’s father is the captain. A few people die, then disappear for good, and the cops completely ignore it. A plot is uncovered, a town secret revealed, and then one good, gun-hating cop decides he has had enough, and goes OVER THE EDGE WITH EXTREME VIOLENCE. This movie spoofs at least 5 genres in just an hour and a half and every attempt is a successful, spot on mockery but still remains fresh and entertaining.

Utilizing a familiar spoof mechanic the film delves deep into what could end up being bad Police Academy territory, however it decided to make a daring move and incorporate one thing many movies are forgetting these days: Characters.

This film, with not only zany antics (one of his missions is to catch a missing swan), but deep and moving character drama, especially between the two leads, is a hallmark example of that USA channel slogan “characters welcome.” Here is a case in which they really, really are. Nicholas Angel- rightly named and played by Simon Pegg with an edginess and perfectionism that really almost feels method based, is our hero-who-can’t-turn-it-off.

The polar opposite of his character from the brilliant character-driven zombie comedy (how often do you see THOSE?), he’s always in cop mode, morning noon and night and refuses to give up his hard-ass ways. His partner played by Nick Frost is a great buffoon of friendly warmth and feel-good messages. Together they…KICK A LOT OF ASS.

The end of the movie may feel tacked on to some, but its the perfect full circle in a story that built up to the moment of truth- in this case a big frigging gunfight- quite momentously. Throw in some of the best on-screen kills seen in years, laughs ranging from light chuckles to giant guffaws, and you’ve got a tastefully scripted, tightly shot, and brilliant paced action comedy. With character.

This film undoubtedly strikes a pose, and damn well near perfect, gets a **** out of ****

In any case, Hot Fuzz is one of the best films of the year so far, and I encourage everyone to go see it. In celebration, here’s a link to an interview “vs.” between the film’s director, Edgar Wright, and Hollywood action revolutionary Shane Black.

So if you’re dying to see a movie this weekend, please go support intelligent, witty, and downright hilarious humor. Even with one of the biggest summer blockbusters of all time just released last weekend, this is what is REALLY worth your nine bucks.

So, first things first: Thumbs up or thumbs down?

I am part of the video game culture. I grew up with it. And for the most part I enjoy it. Thoroughly.

As for the film side of me? I enjoy movies.

As for the 40 % of critics who claim this movie sucks because it “feels like a video game”?

FUCK YOU GUYS
THUMB WAY FREAKING UP

Well, I’ve tried to make it a habit of limiting profanity on my site. In this case I just happened to fail.

This movie was as glorious as the Spartan victories: beautifully edited, filmed, colored, acted, played out, paced: yes, it is as visionary as it claims to be. Take all of the speeches of the three Lord of the Rings films, roll them into just any one sentence that Gerard Butler speaks as King Leonidas, and you have one of the most action, inspiration, and emotion packed movies I’ve seen in years. It’s a mix of old-fashioned “patriot” films like a Clint Eastwood/John Wayne WWII endeavor, mixed with the unleashed power of today’s “overblown violence.”

Let me say one thing about the violence- it is not going out of its way, a la KILL BILL to promote it’s action scenes- it feels freaking real, even with CGI blood thrown in.

This is a true myth coming alive as film, and the only time I’ve seen it done as strongly was with Hayao Miyazaki’s last few great works Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away. And those were animated.

The acting in this film was classic and genuine. Not a single person or single line seemed to “ham it up”- it all went with the style the film wanted to convey- and that was pushing legend to the limit without breaking complete realism. The fact that the fight actually played out more historically accurate (although we can only assume) than the trailers make it look to be (this is NOT a “kung fu flick in disguise”), means that there’s just something brutal and passionate that I believe a majority of movie goers, from ANY COUNTRY would be proud to use as an example of human history.

Hell, even for angry Persians who might not like having their nation’s history being filled with a humiliating defeat- at least this movie makes your opponents look like something worth losing to.

The pacing never let up- every scene was interesting or visually poetic in some way. Not really a movie for actual imagery- this was hard, old fashioned “what you see is what you’ve got” stuff. But some moments, such as when one traitor is mentioned in a scene taking place in Sparta, and the film cuts to a scene of another traitor on the battlefield, really proves this movie has brains and was TRYING.

Honestly, guys- that’s all I want to see. Some serious effort from your film making. If Bodangofish can work out half as well as Sam and I think it might not have sucked, a movie about 300 angry white boys slaughtering everything in site shouldn’t be that hard. It isn’t.

And they beat, trampled, and crushed all GOOD expectations. My first words after seeing the movie, and it can be quoted as truth:

“IT HAD A PLOT!” which is not something I was expecting. I was expecting, pretty much “yeah these guys want us dead let’s kill them” and then 70 minutes of ripping colorful enemies apart in a crimson veil of unbridled massacre.

But, to my most pleasant surprise- there was more to it than that. I cared for the characters, I cared for the future of this brutal civilization, and I cared for the destruction of the invading enemy- I wanted to see them not only defeated. NO. This was much more important than, let’s say the proving of a point in Ridley Scott’s much under-appreciated Kingdom of Heaven or the “vanquish evil” motivation of the LOTR saga- no this was something far heftier and more important to my pathos:

I wanted to see these bastards humiliated.

And by the end of the movie: Everything you wish could have happened, did happen, and the fight scenes did not become at all repetitive. The final “battle” took the PERFECT turn, didn’t ham it up, and drove the story home.

This is a FOUR STAR MOVIE. No reason not to watch it, no reason not to enjoy it. No it is not some brilliant character-driven intellectual masterpiece, but in terms of raw film making, sheer effort, and complete payoff?

Damn…how can you actually not love this? I’m sure by the end of the weekend, the people who hate this film will be a lowly 300 hundred again the thousand nations of people who will LOVE THIS FILM. Too bad they won’t have the resources to win THAT fight though. This thing is going down in history as a classic of modern cinema- mark my words.

For International Cinema (a film course I’m taking right now at Salisbury University), we watched an Italian film some might know as Life is Beautiful. In Italian, the title La Vita e Bella rings very poetically and is all you need to know from the get go: That this movie is living, breathing poetry about darkest hours and brightest smiles.

Guido is a middle aged man traveling through the Italian countryside, bringing immense life and indomitable imagination with him everywhere he goes with his hyperactive talent for humor and romance. He meets a woman who literally falls on him from the sky, and decides pretty much in that moment that he’ll look for her every chance he gets- she is his “princess.” The first half of the movie is his demonstration of character and whimsy- consistently drawing others into his imagination and making life truly worth living for those who surround him. However, he just so happens to be in the wrong time for love- that being the 1940’s, where it was popular to name children Adolf and Benito, and the disregard for human life took a back seat to “progress.”

He succeeds at wooing his woman, and even is gifted a very smart, and very well played child named Giosue, with whom his life truly becomes beautiful. The time catches up with him, however, and he and his son are taken away to a Nazi Holocaust camp, where there fate will be unknown. It’s up to Guido to mask the horrors of this life from his son, much to young to understand, and make sure that his son never has to know the real suffering, the deep hatred, and the cruel traumas of war. The movie is about this gift that a father gives a son. Is it a gift of ignorance, or a gift of freedom? You decide for yourself, but for me, it’s a gift of salvation.

This film has gone on to win numerous awards, including Best Actor Oscar for its star, the stellar and always entertaining Roberto Benigni, who well deserved his acclaim even though his entire film has been bashed some critics for being unreal and unfair to the past.

Well, I’m here to set the record straight- I am not even going to wait till the end of this review to say this: This movie strikes the biggest pose I’ve seen in a while. Clever, sympathetic, sweet and never exploitative of the true events (it handles the Holocaust tastefully), yet the ending is still guaranteed to evoke tears in even the hardest hard-ass.

Filmed in some way that resembles classic Technicolor looks, with flat, exaggerated coloring that truly brings it into a romantic genre, the film feels like a 1950’s or 40’s classic, but with the spirit of hindsight to make it even more potently covered in the era it is trying to amicably recreate. For something that feels so old fashioned it completely blows away most modern efforts to entertain while making the viewer consider the situation the characters are in. The movie Moulin Rogue, for instance, uses modern day effects of grandiose coloring and movement to keeps it’s viewer on the picture at all times. What this film does is mainly give you one incredible character, various incredible settings, and frame them all in an astonishing script that never lets up on laughter and joy. This isn’t just the joy of romance, parenting, or survival- its just the ability to breathe. I used to have a theory- as long as we’re alive we’ll be alive. We can breathe, we can live. It’s slightly abstract but if I could ever find a movie to define what I meant, this film would be it.

Automatically getting a seat in my top 50 flicks of all time (and possibly top 10 upon later viewings,) Life is Beautiful isn’t so much a story of struggle as it is a story of the power of imagination and living. To say something any more original about it would be quite difficult, because this movie so quintessentially sticks to that theme, it’s probably bar none the best example of pacifistic dignity ever captured on film.

****/****

AUDREY BILLINGS (Amber Valleta): I thought you were a professional driver?

If the name of the site and the company doesn’t make it clear, then I’ll make it crystal right now: I’m a HUGE action movie fan. I was watching Aliens, Predator, and Terminator 2 when I was five- all uncut, and all at my mom’s recommendation. The advantage? I grew up loving really GREAT action films that not only had huge explosions but deep stories or at least solid directing and command of plot.

The Transporter 2 stars the quickly-rising popular action icon, Jason Statham (who’s career could go down the drain if enough people see the next Uwe Boll film, Hail to the King- A Dungeon Siege Tale) in a film written by the fantastically-oriented Luc Besson, directed by the ever-growing Louis Leterrier, in a movie about a man who is moving things for money with his tricked-out ride. In this film, his “item” is a young boy going back and forth to school for a month, only to be kidnapped by the “nefarious badguy.” This angers our hero, who goes to save him and stop an even more twisted plot to take down the entire DEA. Or something like that. Cars crash, explosions explode, and people get smacked with Jason Statham’s fire hose…no that’s not a pun that’s actually what happens…deal with it.

Now all grown up and starting my own film business, I’m on the way to working on two of my own action pictures, The Peregrine Saga, and The Atavist Splinter: BLIND-SIDED. I love listening to rock songs by bands like Disturbed and N.E.R.D., all while imagining what great action could flow with it.

So even when it comes to downright cheeze, I will watch almost any action movie at least once. I mentioned in my last post that I’m an avid fan of Ryuhei Kitamura’s VERSUS (2000), a movie so low-budget it makes El Mariachi look like it was personally funded by Microsoft. The style was high but it was also “so obviously fake looking we’ll wink at the camera while shooting each other” extremely shot that I couldn’t get it the first time. The second time I loved it, and the third time while listening to the director’s commentary, I absolutely fell in love with how it sky-rocketed Kitamura’s career- the man has since directed the 50th Anniversarry Godzilla film, and the cutscenes for Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes. I also seem to remember that his movie Azumi is officially coming to America soon…I’m going to be checking that out.

Anyways, that’s all beside the point. Today was Christmas, and under the tree I mostly got clothing. I also got two DvD’s: Miami Vice (say what you will, Mann knew what he was doing in my opinion), and, oddly enough and not at all requested, The Transporter 2.

I’m a fan of numerous things in film, but when it comes to action there’s two things that excell: Luc Besson and Jason Statham. Luc Besson is the legendary French director who brought us such classics as The Professional (one of the highest rated movies on IMDB as you can clearly see), and the less-critically loved but undoubtedly clever The Fifth Element. Luc Besson does not direct this film, however, he gives the reigns to one of his most trusted associates, the young and upcoming action phenomenon Louis Leterrier, who has directed the other Besson-penned masterpiece, Danny the Dog, AKA Jet Li’s Unleashed, and of course the original Transporter. Luc Besson’s taste for action is hard-hitting, realistic elements put into fantastical settings and bizzare situations. Usually this pans out brilliantly as was the case for the films Unleashed and one of my personal favorite action flicks, District B13 (review to come soon!) in which the action can be seen as the point, but the stories and characters behind it are built up to be something just as strong as any punch thrown in terms of integrity and growth.

Unfortunately, the story for The Transporter 2 is incredibly…mmm…I’ll just use the\ word “blah.” Now, I can usually deal with this being that I was raised in a video game society (which the other Jason Statham flick, Crank, satires saliciously) in which paying attention to a story wasn’t necessarly goal number one. I, however, being the elitist jerk I am, could hardly ever swallow a game unless the story along with it proved to be just as exciting as the action. I kept that policy from childhood, and it has followed me into my career as a filmmaker and reviewer. For instance, the Tony Jaa flick Ong-Bak, was a great duty-bound story of a man who had to save his village from people who did not respect the faith of others. It ends with one of the minor characters redeeming his flawed ways and re-learning the respect he was taught as a child. That’s gold! The Protector (known as Tom Yum Goong outside the ‘States), the spiritual successor to that film, starring Tony Jaa again, lacked that same continuing message, instead just going for balls-out (and less solidly choreographed) action. In the end, the good guy literally kills EVERYONE and then just walks away peacefully with no real growth or explanation, aside from a decent albeit only ironic monologue by one of the minor characters.

To compare it to one of those two films, which aren’t necessarily polar extremes but certainly different variations of similar styles (like how my younger brother keeps trying to explain to me the difference between the 2 billion different styles of Metal music), The Transporter 2 would have to fit into the second category with The Protector. That’s ok though- the action it brings in with it is great: intense and well paced, with variation of some of the best car chases in recent history and a lot of cheesy “finale” effects that still prove amusing even after the realization that they’re 90% CGI.

This all works because of one thing: Jason Statham himself. His IMDB profile claims he does all of his own stunts, and since he’s still rising in popularity and shows off some level of integrity with his acting, I doubt his profile is as cluttered with mis-information as Jean Claude Vanne Damme’s (freaking gymnast!). If I ever found out it was a lie, I’ll personally tell you, personally. In any case his stuntwork is very welcomed as not a lot of people had been doing it until the last few years without a stuntman to back them up, and I like that step in the right direction that modern action flicks are taking. I know Harrison Ford did it way back in the day with the Indiana Jones series, and the thing about this is it REALLY strengthens the acting and connection the actor has to his character. Statham pulls off his role remarkably, with Bond-like charm and pure bad-assedness. His fight scenes are pulled off with enthusiasm and brutality, and its really great to know the man behind the wheel for the remarkable chase scenes is actually the man getting out of the car in the next shot.

So we’ve got a great writer with a so-so story line and a great action star with some so-so action. Other than the damned-decent opening performances of the little kid (first timer Hunter Clary) and some of the bad-guys, the acting is nothing special. The direction is solid but ends up being overblown with impossible sequences that, while good for munching popcorn, only end up causing yawns upon later viewings. I enjoy CG work when its done right, however in an action movie when the main focus of the action is realism and choreographed stunt work, CGI takes away my “how did they do that?” factor and doesn’t exactly inspire me to watch it upon later viewings.

The movie does strike a decent balance between stylish and cheesy, and over all is a fun view for any action enthusiast or person just looking to lose their brain for an hour and a half. Things blow up stylishly, you get one great character in Statham’s Frank Martin (who, up until Casino Royale, was one half of the future twin-split children of the James Bond franchise, the other half being Jason Borne from the Bourne series), running the paces of current action movie trends, such as white guys doing insane martial arts. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT as long as they got the balls to do their own stunts!

So, my review is going to be a little hard for me to swallow, but I can really only give this flick a 2/4, seeing as, while I enjoyed it, it won’t be something I’m going to watch over and over again for the action or the story line, but will encourage me to keep looking forward to Statham’s work. He’s got SO much potential to be one of the next great action stars, returning us to Schwarzenegger’s glory days of the late 80’s.

Let’s hope he keeps it up.

This film STRIKES A POSE!!! from the driver’s seat, zooming past the road only to kinda fly by without much notice.

**/****